Make Work, Not Whore!
[Scene begin in a ring like a circus. The Government Spokesman
and the Media announcer stand in the front. Behind them are two
rich people. On their left are two peaceniks wearing monitor T-shirts
(Peace and Quiet Coalition). On their right are two workers, wearing
hard hats. A capitalist wearing a cowboy hat stands behind the
Govt Spokes"person": Ladies and Gentlemen, we, the
government and the media, will be your hosts for a magical culinary
extravaganza. More than 50,000 blood sausages will soon be cooked
in this arid desert.
Media: And with my magic screens, I can make those bloody
bags disappear. You won't believe your eyes. You'll believe me
instead. But lets not get ahead of the story. [The workers move
stones marked "wage labor" in the background as the
capitalist prods them on.]
Media: Life was good in America. Millions of people, some
not even white, worked to create the most American thing in the
world; profits for the rich (Yea).
Govt Spokes"person": But with all the work those
saps were doing for us, our profits were falling (Aww). And some
people, like the strikers at Eastern Airlines, they even started
talking about wanting more (BOO). Well, at least we still had
our petro-dollars from the money tree in Kuwait and Saudi Arabia
Media: Then what do you know, Saddam Insane invaded Kuwait
and stole the moneytree. What a bad man, he wanted the money for
himself! This could be a disaster (Boo)!
Govt Spokes"person": Don't you worry, never fear,
Uncle Sam will soon be there. Actually, this is just the opportunity
we've been lookin' for. We'll use our magic "high tech"
airplanes and missiles and bomb the shit out of those Arabs and
have the money tree back in no time.
Media: So general Colon Bowel began bravely bombing the Iraqis
back to the stone age. [In the background, the capitalist changes
the workers hardhats to army helmets. Then workers begin to speak]
Young Female Worker: Hey! I bet they're going to send us to
fight and die in Kuwait.
Young Male Worker: How am I gonna work and take care of the
kids when you go off to die in Ku-wait!
Rich person 1: But we're making lots of money off this war!
Rich person 2: That right, my body bag stock is up two hundred
percent! [Hearing, the workers start making trouble - throwing
rocks and rioting. Then two peaceniks appear.]
Peacenik 1: Peace brother!
Peacenik 2: Mellow out, peace! peace! [as they say this, the
peaceniks jump on the workers and beat them to the ground]
Media: Wait! If you're going to be against the war, you have
to be responsible. How else are you going to convince me. After
all, no one ever sees the things I don't like. [workers start
grumbling and go back to work]
Peacenik 1: If they won't jump through your hoops, I will.
Someone must show America that peace means following orders.
Media: Evenhandedness! Responsibility! Negotiations! Involve
Everyone! [peacenik jumps through a hoop at the sound of each
Peacenik together [after jumping, they appear at the front
of the ring and chant a prepared statement together]: Even if
this won't stop the war, at least it will keep us from being blamed!
War is bad for businesses and other living things! War destroys
property! War is bad because we might lose. Negotiate: we dealt
with Hussein before and we can deal with him now! Bring our tanks
home - they might get broken!
Media: We love our peaceniks, all they ever think about is
peace. They're so nonviolent they'd kill a man to keep him from
breaking a window. It's OK if they don't see how America needs
war. To keep our men strong, we need women who faint at the sight
of blood and clerics who prove that all war is wrong. After all,
someone has to keep this messy war from coming home.
Govt Spokes"person": We love our media. They say
exactly what we tell them.
Capitalist: Hey we love our government. They do exactly what
we want. [Addressing the crowd] Now soldiers, obey your officers!
Remember what Gandhi said....Mutiny would violate their rights.
[Entire troop then begins jumping through the hoop except the
capitalist and the two rich people. Two rich people stand behind
capitalist and hand out fake money. Worker and the peaceniks grab
for it but it is always pulled away.]
Everyone jumping through the hoop: Bah, Bah, Fighting soldiers
from the sky...[they continue first verse of "Ballad of the